


Under the Table

by scifishipper



Category: Battlestar Galactica (2003)
Genre: Angst, Community: bsg_kink, F/M, Infidelity, Pre-Miniseries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-27
Updated: 2011-10-27
Packaged: 2017-10-25 00:01:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/269372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scifishipper/pseuds/scifishipper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first time it happens, it’s not on the table…</p>
            </blockquote>





	Under the Table

The first time it happens, it’s not on the table next to the sofa where Zak is sleeping. The breaking glass brings their first almost-kiss to an abrupt end with Lee’s stiffened body hovering above Kara in carnal intent. She won’t look at him and he shudders, a mix of arousal and shame filtering through him. He steps back and she slides off the table, fixing the napkins so they don’t burn in the candle’s flame. The room is thick with need and longing and regret. Regret that he didn’t meet her first, that he didn’t stop drinking four shots ago, that he didn’t get the chance to rip off her pants and frak her hard six feet from his baby brother who is so obviously in love with her. And, most of all and perhaps all the worse for it, he regrets the godsdamned glass falling and breaking and shocking them back into the drunken reality of what they had been about to do. Frak, what they had already done, flirting and catching each other’s breaths because their faces were so close. When she had dared him, he had been grateful, relieved that she’d been the one so maybe he could blame her later when the recriminations started. But it hadn’t gone that way and now he has to hold onto the chair to get himself to walk steadily enough to follow her to the door.

He doesn’t say anything of importance when they shake hands before he goes, her name maybe, and some trite and awkward phrase that strangers say at parties. His shame is weak enough that he wants to pull her towards him and kiss her nonetheless, his cock still half-hard in his pants. She is like a drug, swirling around him, mixing with the dizzying alcohol and his stable rational mind is nowhere to be found. He clings to her hand a second longer than she does, glancing at Zak and releasing. He doesn’t remember what he did then, stumbled, walked, crawled out the door, it wouldn’t have mattered, but later he was home, fumbling with the keys to his apartment door and falling onto the stiff leather sofa to pass out.

Two days later they meet again because Zak is so excited that his big brother and his new girlfriend have gotten along so well. Lee tries to push the invitation off, but he finds himself walking into the crowded breakfast place anyway. Kara sits in the middle of a rounded bench almost exactly halfway between each man. Lee sits down and gives an awkward smile, secretly hoping that she’s forgotten, but her quick glance and downcast eyes tells him she has not.

It’s awkward as he stares at the menu, not really seeing the words because he is focused on the heat of her leg against his. Zak is talking animatedly about school and becoming a pilot and teasing both of them for their quietness. Lee tries to keep his face impassive or animated or whatever he needs to do when Zak looks his way. He can see that Kara is doing the same thing as her fingers wrap around his under the table. The shock of what he is doing makes his head spin, like he’s living in a dark reality different from his own. This is his brother – his godsdamned brother and here he is touching his girlfriend at breakfast. The meal lasts forever and he can barely swallow his food for the pressure of her hand on his thigh, sliding up as far as she can every time the waiter draws Zak’s attention away from her face. It’s frakking insane and if his fingers weren’t caressing the inside of her wrist, he might move away so he could breathe.

The meal ends and he’s not sure if he’s regretful or relieved as Zak and Kara slide out of the booth. Zak is shrugging on his jacket and Kara meets his eyes as she stands, showing more raw need than he wants to know because he’s already decided that he needs to get as far away from her as he possibly can. He watches her go out the door, Zak’s hand low on her back and she looks at him through the window, holding his eyes until they pass out of sight. He shivers, tossing down money for the check, and doing his best to push the thoughts away.

Later, when he pumps his cock hard in the shower, he tells himself it’s okay, because then it’s out of his system and it’s not cheating because she’s not there. He ignores that fact that his mind is filled with her, desire and raw frakking need tightening his balls with a deep ache until his body finds release. And he’s sated for a while, and he can go back to his briefings and paperwork and pretend she isn’t still on his mind, that he’s not filled with jealousy because she’s frakking his brother and not him.

After a few days, Lee thinks he’s gotten things under control. He has two more days on assignment and then he’s back on the Atlantia, far away from Zak and Kara and the need to shove her up against a wall and frak her until she’s screaming his name. He ignores Zak’s calls, invitations to dinner and a pyramid game and drinks at a local pub. It’s frakked up that every time Zak calls, he wants it more. Sometimes he can hear Kara talking in the background, teasing him and he swears she’s taunting him and not Zak.

The next night he needs relief and he goes to a dumpy bar off the beaten path and finds a girl. It doesn’t matter what she looks like, he only cares about her short blonde hair and he takes her into the alley, turns her around and pushes her into the hard brick wall. He fraks her with his eyes screwed shut and he pretends, ignoring the fact that she’s too thin and her laughter too high and he just knows Kara’s gasping breaths would have his name on them. He comes too fast and she’s annoyed but he doesn’t frakking care. He zips up his pants and watches her walk away. He feels dirty and cheap, but at least he didn’t cheat.

When his assignment gets extended for a few more days, he thinks he can’t avoid Zak anymore because he’s pissed off and accusing him of being a dick. Lee calls him back and they agree to lunch. When it’s just the two of them, he’s relieved because it’s one last time and he can see his brother without feeling like the shitbag he is in his mind. Lee tries to steer the topic away from Kara, but Zak is hungry for Lee’s opinion, wants to brag about Kara in bed and Lee just about loses it. He’s sharper with Zak than he wants to be and he leaves him with an apology, counting the minutes until he can get back to Atlantia.

It’s no godsdamned use though, because as much as he tries to avoid her, she finds him. It’s not on purpose, running into each other on the street, but as soon as they meet, he can see it already happening. He doesn’t even try to stop it, he just lets her follow him to a hotel and before he knows it they’re unlocking room twelve and staring at each other as she pushes the door closed behind her. He’s almost dumb, frozen, watching, seeing her as conflicted and as willing has he is, but no one’s touched yet, no one’s cheated and they can just walk back out that godsdamned door and then it can be over. He can go back to his orderly life and she can go back to his brother and they can both sleep at night cause they haven’t frakked it all up.

But that’s a flash of hope that’s shoved away because they step towards each other at the same time and then they’re touching, her hands on his chest, his palm on her face and they’re memorizing each other because it’s only just this once. One time and then it’s done. He burns that into his brain; he means it. He really does, until he’s kissing her and she tastes like ambrosia and cigars and his cock jumps against his jeans. It’s light at first, tongues skimming the edges of lips and he thinks there’s still time to stop. It’s just a kiss, he can live with that.

He doesn’t know who moves first, maybe it is him, but he tries not to think about it. They’re pressing together now, her breasts full against his shirt and his hands are on her ass and he’s pulling her into his groin. She answers back with a leg wrapped around his and their mouths and hands are exploring. Lee’s heart is pounding and the voice inside his head is growing fainter, the calls for restraint and maturity and what the frak is he gonna do, but he can’t stop. Motherfrakker, he can’t stop because she feels so good and then reason is crushed by thoughts of his cock inside her.

He can only groan now as he lifts her and she hooks her other leg around his waist, mouths still exploring. Each step towards the bed is a step closer to hating himself, but he doesn’t frakking care because the Lee he thought he always was is nowhere to be found and thoughts of Zak are locked behind a door of lust and arousal.

They are still twined together when they fall to the bed and when he glances at her face, her eyes are closed and he thinks maybe she’s doing the same thing, thinking against what she’s doing even when her hands are down his pants and she’s gripping his cock so tightly that he thinks he might come on her fingers. Oh gods, is all that fills his mind and he can’t frakking wait. He thrusts their pants down, she yanks off a pantleg and they’re mostly still clothed as she spreads her legs wide. With a grip on her thigh he positions over her and his one last rational thought is to stop and to wait and to make sure. He opens his eyes and she is looking at him. Her eyes are smoldering, lips wet and parted, and she’s sure, he can see it. He knows he’s going frak his brother’s girlfriend and there’s not a godsdamned thing he can do to stop it now.

Their eyes are locked until pushes inside her and then it’s all over. There’s nothing else except raging pleasure and deep groans and he’s pistoning into her, frakking her hard and fast as if the dogs of hades are chasing at his heels. And he thinks maybe if it’s quick and dirty and just so frakking hot that he can’t resist that it will make it easier later. It doesn’t last long, but they’re both gasping and she’s screaming his name like he knew she would. He’s coming now, his cock jamming as deeply as he can, and his eyes are rolling back in his head and he barks her name, thrusting hard, jerking his body against hers, oh gods oh gods oh gods. It’s intense and amazing and how in the frak can it be better than he’d imagined.

But he doesn’t roll off, doesn’t push her away like that blonde in the alley, but he stays half-hard inside her, elbows supporting him because once he moves it’ll be over and the guilt will come charging through his brain. Before all that can happen though, she kisses him, continuing her exploration, maybe not caring that she’s just frakked her boyfriend’s brother. He doesn’t know how it starts again, but it does and they are both pretending, barely speaking, and he thinks that maybe it isn’t really happening because neither of them are saying it is.


End file.
